A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Car

I went downstairs to get my dad's monkey wrench from my car so I could finish building the Ikea dining room chairs I purchased about two weeks ago. (Depression takes up lots of my time, ok? Don't judge.) As I crossed the street to head back to my building, I encountered a tall, pierced, freckley white guy who asked me about my tattoos. One thing led to another and he is now my New Favorite Person In The World!!! I gave him the ochoplacas shop website, we exchanged numbers, we live a couple of buildings away from each other, and OMG he has my name tattooed on his arm!!!

He was so funny and witty, and had so much spark that I was immediately enthralled. His name is Billy Mia. Get it?! Bulimia?! I mentioned that I could be Anna Wrecksia but alas, that name has already been taken by a bigger, better, and more fierce queen.


Ummm.. he just texted me that he was eating a pear that matched his body shape. LOL!
I adore him already!! Trust that we will be trollin' the poop-ladened sidewalks of South Beach very soon!!
You. Havebeenwarned.