Monday, November 29, 2010

Lost and Fou---WTF IS THAT

The other day at work there was this thing laying on the ground and I walked over to pick it up and throw it away because I hate litter. When I got to this object I stopped dead in my tracks. The little Hispanic lady standing next to this thing was staring down at it. We stared quietly at this object for a few seconds, then simultaneously looked at each other and were like, "¿¡Que es eso?!" I asked her where it came from; she said she didn't know, that she just saw it laying there on the floor. I said, "Que cosa mas rara....." then scooped it up in a tray. I stared at it in the tray for a good while, longer than I should have I suppose, but I just had so many questions for this little guy!!!
I wanted to know where it came from. Did this fall out of someone's suitcase or purse? Did this fall out of someone's pocket? Or did this fall off someone's hand? Was this a prosthetic thumb?! What happened to the biological finger this fake finger replaced, was it severed in a heavy machinery accident? Did the wearer take off fakey to sleep at night? Did the wearer have a special dish on their night stand for this little guy? What was the purpose of the red fabric inside? And furthermore, why was this thing never washed?! Oh filthy little angel prosthetic thumb!!! Where have you been in your travels that your owner couldn't once take you in the shower with him?! You poor little fake thumb......

Also, I should mention that this fake thumb was hard as heck. It was not rubbery or squishy but hard and plastic-y. I turned it in to the Lost & Found, just in case the owner came back for his yucky digit.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

5 things VIII

Five things I'm grateful for, in no particular order:
1. Ikea
2. My dermatologist
3. Unlimited texting
4. Cheetos
5. Ryan Gosling

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

5 things VII

Five words I love, Wednesday, 11/24, 11:44pm.
1. sociopath
2. uterus
3. frenzy
4. exhilarating
5. translucent


Monday, November 22, 2010

5 things VI

Five things that will always be awesome, Monday, 11:41 pm:
1. Netflix.
2. My homeboy Scott's texts in "Spanish." That white boy cracks me UP! (ok sorry, I know you're not 'white,' Italian-German mofo.)
3. Tina Fey.
4. Twinkies.
5. My bro. Diego will always be awesome.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

5 things V

Five things I love, Sunday, November 21st, 11:44 pm.
1. Spent the weekend with my super-amazing brother, his super-sweet new girlfriend, my tranny-betch cousine, and my bro's friends, who all, understandably, adore my bro.
2. Having friends that don't yell at me for texting while driving.
3. I love the sepia setting on my camera. I love it so much.
4. Simultaneously texting my TWD buddies during the show, discussing our thoughts, feelings, and rage at the survivors/walkers/vatos.
5. Singing along to Nirvana at the top of my bird-lungs in my car on really long drives.

Friday, November 5, 2010

5 things IV

Five things that are totally awesome, right now, November 5th, 2010, 10:14 pm.
1. My body is really sore from my kickboxing class last night, but I haven't felt this good in a really long time.
2. Meester Escott, my rad internet friend that lives in one of my favorite cities in the world (Richmond), telling me I'm a "down-ass bitch."
3. Watching an encore presentation of AMC's The Walking Dead, and accepting the fact that this is something I may very well develop a '30 Rock'-like addiction to.
4. Going to Ikea tomorrow with Belinda-tran.
5. Knowing that I'm gonna be working with two of my favorite work buddies for the next year (I'm lookin' at you, Rashaund and Chiqueta, I'm lookin' at you...)

5 things III

Really quick, before midnight, 5 things that I love, November 4th, 2010, 11:55 pm.
1. Mama Isabel saying, "they sell like hot bread" instead of "they sell like hotcakes," in her cute Argentine accent.
2. Um hello miss lady my super awesome cardio kickboxing class I had tonight!!!
3. The tranny I met today, named David, with lots of plastic surgery and a botched nose job.
4. The first phone conversation with my internet friend who is totally rad (and btw laughed at all my jokes) 
5. Sitting in the bathroom with my MacBook, naked save for undies and a heaping pile of hair dye in my weave, 'cause you know i gotta wash the grays right outta my hair!!!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

It finally happened.

I recently began a new shift at work, where I get off at sweet and lovely 2:30 pm, but I go in at the exhausting and brutal time of 8:30 am. Which means I set my alarm at 6:45 and snooze 'til about 7:10. Today though, I overslept until 7:18. That is very late, you see! So, I jumped in the shower, got dressed, hurriedly brushed my teeth, and put some self-esteem, AKA makeup, on.
Later in the day at work, I went to the bathroom and as usual, I looked at myself in the mirror. Primarily because I'm vain and I love checking myself out in any reflective surface I walk past, but also to check on my hair. I'm letting it grow out, and it's beginning to evolve into a big curly mess. Also, I don't really bother doing anything to my weave in the morning. I just pull it back with a headband and call it a day. Because of my chronic hair-styling-in-the-morning laziness, I tend to have this constant flat spot on the back of my head, where my head and pillow have made sweet, sweet love all six to seven hours that I am getting my beauty sleep.
Well, when I looked in the mirror today at work, I looked ... weird. I was like, "Damn gurl, what's wrong witcher face?!" I thought I definitely needed to get more sleep, or maybe even some sun. I couldn't recognize myself. I just stared at my reflection until I finally began to identify the face looking back at me. I recognized the face in the mirror from a small, obscure movie... maybe you've heard of it? It's called Mommie Dearest. I actually managed to pencil in some Joan Crawford eyebrows in my sleepyface rush to get to work on time. 
I was so freakin' amused with myself. I mean, I love Joan, I really love Mommie Dearest, and I really, really love my eyebrows. I just never thought I would subconsciously merge the three on my face, by accident, without being in full costume or character. (Oh, who am I kidding? There's always a little Joan Crawford in me. Trust.) Although I adore Joan, I really need to sharpen my eyebrow pencil before I fill in my eyebrows in the morning, because, as Tim Gunn would say, "That's A LOT of look!!" And really, only Joan can pull that off. I just looked a little ... a little too Baker acted, if you know what I mean...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

5 things II

Five things that I love, right now, Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010, 10:23 pm:
1. Modern Family.
2. Sharing a PBR tall boy with my mom.
3. Making racist jokes at work with my girl Chiqueta.
4. Little Debbie Nutty Bars.
5. My brand new purple watch.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

5 things

Alright, really quick, five things off the top of my head that I love, at this moment in time, Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010, at 11:40 pm.
1. Watching Everybody Loves Raymond with my dad.
2. Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Tea.
3. My new dark green and sparkly nail polish called Emerald City.
4. The sound the doggie door makes when Nina goes outside.
5. The new embroidery piece I started last night and finished a little while ago.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Belinda and Her Owl Hat

On Halloween Belinda and I headed down to Flamingo Park to have a photo shoot with the owl ear-flap hat I crocheted for her. I took about fifty pics, and these are my favorites.